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Tween must reads: 5 Books to help get difficult conversations started
We’ve always been a “chatty” family trying our best to keep conversations with our girls open and honest but, at times, it’s been challenging knowing when to bring up a new topic, especially with younger siblings near. It is however very important to us that we form the foundation on which our kids build their understanding and views on sex, pornography, smartphones, the reality and dangers of the internet and social media as well as other “tricky” topics and situation they’ll inevitably face. This is where books have proven extremely helpful and that’s why we want to share 5 recent tween must reads.
Our 1st Tween must reads
Let’s start with sex… The birds and the bees… Thinking back to my own childhood I can’t recall a clear conversation regarding sex. I do however remember a lot of “It’s for adults only”, “Don’t think sinful thoughts” and a clear level of uncomfortableness that motivated me to rather do my own research. We didn’t want this for our girls. So, we made a point of teaching them the biological names for all their body parts and always answering questions regarding the human body, the way we love and reproduction without making them feel ashamed or nervous.
Bonus read For Curious Younger siblings:
- Where Do Babies Come From? is a beautifully illustrated book providing young children with a sensitive and God-centered explanation on questions about how life starts. Special care is taken to explain that God uniquely creates and loves each new life from the point of conception, and that each child is uniquely loved by their parents as well. Terms like sperm and egg is also introduced. Buy your copy HERE.
Next, we tackle Online safety…
We are the 1st parents to raise children in this new age of connectivity, social media, virtual friendships and more. And, like with all new opportunities and possibilities, this comes with certain dangers. Thankfully books are just one of the many resources available to help us navigate this new frontier. And remember mama, even if your child doesn’t own their own phone or tablet, they are still likely to be exposed to the online world through smart TVs, friends, gaming apps and consoles as well as WhatsApp and YouTube (just to name a few).
Let Kyle the kingfish cover all the 1st basics
- Keeping Safe on the Web with ‘Kyle the Kingfish’ is an online safety kids book for young children. With Kyle the Kingfish as their ocean guide, the book takes kids on a journey of online safety: healthy screen time, cyber-bullying, being kind online, protecting their identity and avoiding pornography. Beautifully illustrated with lots to see and discuss, it is designed for parents to read to children aged 5 to 10. Purchase your copy HERE or HERE.
A Must read before handing over that 1st phone or tablet…
What was meant to be a resource or privilege could in fact be a ticking time bomb in the hands of an innocent child if we as parents fail to teach our children how to “connect” responsibly. Cyberbullying, unhealthy screen-time habits, looking for validation and acceptance on social media, not understanding the dangers of sharing personal information with strangers, or not knowing how to be kind and wise when not speaking to someone from behind might be issues our children struggle with.
#wellconnected: How to be safe, wise & kind online is a book for young digital users, exploring the online space for the first time. Lots of things can go wrong when we are online: we can make some big mistakes and we can see stuff we wish we hadn’t. But that doesn’t have to be the case. This book aims to help you be safe, wise and kind as you find your way around cyberspace and navigate online connections. Complete with conversation starters, helpful tips and a family digital contract, #wellconnected is designed to be read by kids and discussed by families. Mostly it is a tool to open conversation and build deep connections. Purchase your copy HERE.
The Last of our current Tween Must reads
This final topic might be one of the most overlooked. Probably because it can evoke so much shame, even from us as adults… We might also not realise how at risk our kids truly are in today’s fast-paced, tech world. I’m talking about pornography! I was stunned by an Interview on CapeTalk last where John Maytham interviewed research psychologist Dr Antoinette Basson about the worrying number of children addicted to pornography in South Africa.
Last year the Unisa’s Bureau for Market Research’s Youth Research Unit profiled children between the ages of 12 and 17. The research found that 60% of South African children confessed to frequently viewing pornography. Most children unintentionally stumble on the pornography, but a fraction actively search for it, with 15% of children admitting to viewing X-rated content every day. The children said the explicit videos encourage them to be more sexually active. They typically accessed the porn through their phones.
CapeTALK 567AM 26 August 2022
Listen to the full interview HERE.
Keeping our children safe isn’t enough anymore, they need to also understand the harmful effect of pornography, especially on a young, developing mind.
- Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids is a children’s picture book for parents by Kristen A. Jenson, MA. The book is described as “a comfortable, read-aloud story about a mom and dad who teach their child what pornography is, why it’s dangerous, and how to reject it.” Using easy-to-understand science and simple analogies, this groundbreaking book engages young kids to porn-proof their own brains. The book’s “5-point CAN DO Plan™” has been used by thousands of families to protect their children against the pull of pornography. “Every child deserves to be warned about the dangers of pornography,” author Kristen A. Jenson says. “We designed Good Pictures Bad Pictures to make that conversation for parents and empowering for kids. Let’s bring pornography out of the dark, where it has power, and into the light, where our kids have power.” Suitable for children 8years and older. Buy your copy HERE.
Bonus read For Curious Younger siblings:
- Even young children have access to the internet and they deserve to be armed early against its dangers. Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. makes it easy for parents to protect young children ages 3-6 with the Turn, Run & Tell plan! Contact Break Free SA to order yours.
Giveaway closed – Congratulations Claire Macer-Wright (IG Entry)
Win all the books mentioned above!!!
The idea of this post isn’t to scare but rather to motivate. Having these open conversations in our home over the last year has only brought our family closer together and our girls don’t hesitate to tell us or ask us about anything. We do however know this could change easily and that we need to keep making an effort to check in with them, know what’s going on in “their world” and always assure them of how loved, safe and accepted they are, NO MATTER WHAT.
We also want to pay it forward to another family by giving away all 5 tween must reads to one lucky reader! It’s super easy to enter…
Here’s how:
Complete one of these steps OR both to gain an extra chance of winning!
- Leave your comment HERE telling us which book you’d like to read first.
- Visit our Instagram account. Follow the instructions under this post.
COMPETITION RULES:
- Only entries via Instagram and comments left below will be considered.
- Instagram is in no way responsible or associated with this giveaway.
- The competition is only open to South African residents residing in South Africa.
- Winners must be 18+ years old.
- This competition closes on 31 March 2023.
- The winner is picked at random and announced after the 31st of March 2023, via IG as well as this blog post.
- This prize is not exchangeable or refundable.
- Please enter valid email and contact info. If we can not get hold of you within 48 hours a new winner will be picked.
- The greatest care is taken when mailing your prize but Just a Mamma does not accept any responsibility for lost, stolen or damaged goods.
For more book reviews CLICK HERE
PHOTO CREDIT | Photos by Celeste van der Berg Photography
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thank you for this. With a Gr4 son all these topics are very relevant. Definitely the well connected book is next on my list.
These are invaluable resources for parenting. Thanks for putting this post together. Would love to start with ‘Where do babies come from?’
Yes please! The chat…
All the mentioned books I think are a must. I think The Chat and Good Picture and Bad pictures would be what I start with.
Thank you for putting this together.
Thank you so much for this, such incredible resources!
With a growing boy definitely “Good pictures, Bad pictures”
Ooo The Chat… En Keeping safe on the web. Dankie vir jou navorsing hieroor. Ek soek juis kindervriendelike boeke oor die temas!
I would love to start with Good Pictures Bad Pictures as the age group includes both my kiddos.
Thank you so much for sharing these. I have 3 daughters and the word sex has been intriguing to my 11 and 8 year old girls. I’ve ducked and dived as to what sex is and what the word means and it was interesting to hear my 8 year old’ view on what it means. These would definitely make the “where do babies come from” question much easier to navigate. crossing fingers on this one??
I think Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a good place to start for us with our 3 and 6 year old! Followed by Where do babies come from!
I think I’d start with “The Chat” if I won. Holding thumbs!
I have an almost 3 year old so I would like to read Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr first
Thank you for a wonderfully informative post! I would love to read Good Pictures, Bad Pictures with my 8- and 10-year olds. Such an important message.
Ooo The Chat… En Keeping safe on the web. Dankie vir jou navorsing hieroor. Ek soek juis kindervriendelike boeke oor die temas!
“Keeping safe on the web”. Has just given our 9 year old daughter her first phone, so she can keep in touch with her dad. would likde to teach her how to use it in a safe way.
“Where do babies come from” would be our first step. Such a challenging time we live in with the access to info and influence for our kids.
oooh where to start with this lovely list…but having 2 sisters close in age I think The Chat is long overdue in our house!
Definitely starting with Where do Babies come from, as my nearly 4-year-old has been asking. Would be great to have age-appropriate visuals!
I need to have the chat with my daughter soon so this is definitely on my list first…
I know this post is for tweens, but I think even my Littles (5 and 7) could benefit from these conversations!
Thank you for this, it is so needed and a great starting point to start a conversation! I would love “The Chat” book…have been looking for something for my 7yr old, so start the conversation in an easier way ❤️
This is amazing! We have 3 girls and our oldest is entering this tween season. I have been scouring the internet looking for resources to help navigate all these chats. Thank you for sharing! Our younger two would benefit greatly from these as well, when the time arises.
Thank you, soooo very helpful!!
I think I will buy some of these even if we don’t win because we really need this. I like all of them but maybe “The Chat” comes first.
thank you for these book recommendations! I think the chat is one I’d read first with my kiddies, what avgreat resource to help with these difficult conversations! thank you
Thank you for leading the way and also for helping us by giving us the links to buy these books. Some of them I e been waiting to buy on Amazon but they are over R400 and still shipping on top of that! One of the books I would also like to share is “the story of me” by Stan & brenna jones.
I have looking for recommendations for books like this ! Thank you so much for sharing. I want to build a safe open space for our girls, but definitely need some support for these conversations – ??
Dankie, dankie vir hierdie wonderlike navorsing!! Ek deel dit graag met ouers wyd en suid!
The Chat… Birds,bees & Destinies is the first one I’d like to read
Well connected and the good/bad pictures books! I have boys and I always feel so out of my depth when it comes to protecting them because I don’t fully understand their experiences – so help would be wonderful!
Making parenting a bit easier, as usual. Would love the ‘where do babies come from’ and will probably need all of them a bit later in life..
Don’t have a tween yet but alll of these would be great for our savvy 7-year old
Thank you for sharing these! Our girls aren’t tweens yet but it would be so helpful to read these as parents to find helpful language and terms to discuss these topics. ☺️
This is very helpful. Soo many new thing our children are being exposed to in comparison to when we were young. Incredible to have books that help us navigate these conversations with our kids.
Some of our favourite books, and so important for our young people of today.
Praying over your precious babies my friend x