This is a question every “girl-parent” (mom and dad) will ask themselves at one stage or another… How do we prepare our daughter for her first period? When do we start the chat? How much information is too much information? Do I even know what to say?

It’s one of the “big” parenting talks but thankfully it’s also one of the most normal, healthiest experiences a woman can go through month after month and fear shouldn’t have any part to play. So, before sitting down with your little girl, check your own biases and misconceptions. Educate yourself and find a way to celebrate this transition into womanhood. After all, getting your period isn’t a punishment.

When should we start the conversation?

According to KidsHealth.org – “Most girls get their first period when they’re around 12. But getting it any time between age 10 and 15 is OK. Every girl’s body has its own schedule. There isn’t one right age for a girl to get her period.”

Start Early Conversations: Being an “all-girls” household (except for dad of course), menstruation has never been taboo in our home. The girls have seen my pads, tampons and menstrual cup and like most moms privacy is a luxury not often enjoyed. So when they’ve walked in on a “compromising period moment” I’ve tried to stay calm and not make too much of a fuss. I answered their questions and soon “mommy’s monthly flow” became normal to all.

At first, I let the girl’s questions lead how much I share and then, at the end of grade 3, (around the age of 9) I decided to have a more “serious” talk. It wasn’t because we saw any signs of a first period approaching but more so because we knew the girls were moving into the senior phase of primary school and we didn’t want seeing other girls experience a period, to scare them. We also wanted them to be prepared and empowered for when their own day arrived.

Encourage Open Communication: Create a safe space for open conversations where no questions are off limits, all concerns and emotions are valid, and where help is freely given without making anyone feel silly or ashamed. Our bodies are incredible and this is the time to cultivate a healthy interest, love and respect for yourself and the amazing way God created women. Sharing my own period fears and mishaps leveled the playing field and made our daughters feel at ease to share their own thoughts and feelings too.

How to talk to your daughter about her first period

Preparing your daughter for her first period involves both practical and emotional support. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Provide Accurate Information: Explain the menstrual cycle and the purpose of periods in a clear, age-appropriate manner. Use correct terminology so she’s informed and empowered. Remember to talk about how long a period lasts (usually around 5 days), how much blood comes out, PMS and cramps. How often a period happens (for a few years after a girl starts her first period, it may not come regularly. This is normal at first. By about 2–3 years after her first period, a girl’s period should be coming around regularly. about once every 4–5 weeks).
2. Discuss Hygiene Practices: Teach her about proper menstrual hygiene, including changing pads or tampons regularly to prevent discomfort and possible infections. Most women need to change their pad, tampon, or menstrual cup between 3‒6 times a day.
3. Track Menstrual Cycle: Encourage her to track her menstrual cycle on a calendar or using a period-tracking app. This will help her anticipate when her period is likely to start.
4. Normalize Body Changes: Breast development, hair growth in new and interesting places, funky body odours emerging… Remind her that puberty is a natural process and everyone goes through it. Address any concerns she might have about body changes. Breast development, pubic hair growth, new body odours emerging…
5. Address Emotional Aspects: Emphasize that mood swings and emotional changes are normal during this time. Discuss strategies to cope with these feelings.
6. Demonstrate Supplies: Get practical and introduce her to various menstrual products, such as pads, tampons and period panties. Explain how they work and let her experiment a bit to find which works best for her. Some girls use only one method while others switch between a few.
7. Practice Discretion and Privacy: Teach her about discretion and privacy when it comes to managing her period, like wrapping used products before disposing of them.
8. Tips on dealing with cramps: Many girls have cramps with their period, especially in the first few days. If cramps bother you, you can try using a warm heating pad on your belly, taking ibuprofen, eating quality dark chocolate with a 65% or higher cocoa content, and enjoying a warm bath with added Epson salt & magnesium oil plus loads of rest and sleep. We need to teach our girls to show themselves more grace during this phase of their cycle – taking extra care of the body, heart and mind. Let’s normalise slowing down and self-care to reset for the new month ahead.
9. Be prepared for the Unexpected: Her first period might catch her off guard. Reassure her that it’s okay, and encourage her to reach out for help if she needs it.
10. Stay Attuned to Her Needs: Every girl is different. Pay attention to her reactions and feelings, and adjust your approach accordingly. The goal is to make her feel informed, supported, and empowered as she navigates this new phase of life.

Resources we found helpful…

Use Books: There are many books and online resources aimed at young girls that explain puberty and periods. These resources can help her understand the changes her body will go through.

• A girl’s guide: Pooperty is not that bad. Written by a mother of four, Marishka Mansill. This book is a fun, light-hearted and easy-to-understand guide that helps young girls navigate the changes and challenges of puberty. It covers everything from self-care to menstruation and provides accurate and age-appropriate information to help girls understand what’s happening to their bodies. Available in hardcopy, via e-book, or on Amazon Kindle.
• Another fellow mama, Bernice Schutte wrote a fun and FREE e-book Meisie tot Mens sharing all the essentials of what to expect in a cool, easy-to-follow manner. Download it HERE.

Create a Period Kit: As her period approaches, create a small kit containing pads, a change of underwear, and maybe a small pouch to carry these items discreetly. This can help her feel prepared and less anxious. And if you’re unsure about what to include simply buy one…

• Tweenology thought of everything! Here’s what’s inside this beautiful one-of-a-kind Oh Hello Flo Period Box:

1. A 16-page booklet packed with all the need-to-know info ranging from what a period is, how your menstrual cycle works, what to expect, products to consider, hygiene factors, tips & tricks, FAQ’s and lots more! 
2. ANNA organic pads which are locally made and the healthiest option for a first-time user.
3. A cute Tweenology pouch for keeping your pads and clean undies in. They even added a little zip lock bag for soiled underwear to be washed out later and “Boerseep”.
4. A few pain & PMS remebies such as; a little packet of 70% dark chocolate “Craving Choklit” nibs. An easy-to-use microwavable heat pad, a “No Stress” magnesium soak to help ease muscle pain. As well as “Electrifying Electrolytes” to hydrate and replenish vital nutrients that could go lost during your period.
5. An “I’ve got the feelings” notepad with a Living life inbeTWEEN pen to jot down thoughts, feelings and whatever you may not be ready to say or ask out loud. It can also be used for period tracking.
6. Tweenology’s tried and tested “Howzit Pimple Patches” because with fluctuating hormones, sometimes pimples appear!
7. Plus a yummy NOMU hot chocolate treat and a few spiral hairbands – just for fun!
8. And of course, everything arrives at your door in the prettiest pink keepsake box. Sturdy and fantastic quality. Use the box for all those t(w)een treasures.

• Another lovely option is Yours Monthly – Started by two best friends, Monthly. is passionate about redefining our monthly period experience through education, tips, humour, connection and their Monthly. period boxes. These boxes are carefully curated to celebrate the wonder of the cyclical life we live and filled with self-care necessities that include organic period essentials, fabulous handcrafted feel-good products, local artworks, tips, information about your monthly flow and much more! Choose between their First Period Box, or  Standard and Deluxe monthly period boxes.

Other sites dedicated to tweens & teens:

• The My Story Tribe
• True Girl
• KIND Tweens & Tieners

Informative videos:

We love watching AMAZE Org videos. AMAZE is a collaboration between experts in the field of sex education to create engaging, age-appropriate, online sex education resources BUT not all content will suit everyone’s values and beliefs so just be sure to check before letting your tween watch freely.

*A quick note on period panties: Unfortunately, period panties do not work for me, my flow is simply too heavy BUT it’s a wonderful option, especially for active young girls (and women) who don’t experience a heavy flow. And just like with menstrual cups and washable pads – they really aren’t gross at all. We just need to get over the stigma attached to period blood. I highly recommend checking out Blushproof for the best and prettiest locally-made period panties. Their style and size selection is FANTASTIC and very inclusive too.

Remember your village!

Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate her entry into womanhood in a way that she’s comfortable with. It could be a special meal, a small gift, or even just a heartfelt conversation.

Peer Support: If possible, encourage her to talk to older siblings, cousins, or friends who have already experienced their first periods. Hearing their experiences can be reassuring.

In many ways having “the talk” with our girls, educated me too as I was reminded to LOVE my body for all it can do! In the wise words of Nigerian writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie “I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be.”

A little something extra for her first period…

Tweenology wants every young lady to enjoy a positive start to her first period and created a special DISCOUNT CODE on their “Oh hello Flo boxes” especially for our readers and followers. Use the code: JUSTAMAMMA for 15% off. (Offer valid till the end of September 2023).

For more parenting tips and resources CLICK HERE

PHOTO CREDIT | Photos by Celeste van der Berg Photography