Celebrations Holiday celebrations Just a Mamma Motherhood

Easter: Why I Believe.

March 31, 2018
JustaMamma Easter Sunday 2018

It’s no secret, we are Christians… A label that carries so much weight and judgement and I completely understand why.

With statements like; “Christians are boring. They are “know-it-all’s”, thinking they know best. Christians are hypocrites, believing they are better than others. They always stick their noses in other people’s business. Christians are mean and judgmental. I don’t like Christians…”

All of the above is true.

There are a lot to be said about Christians because above all Christians are still just people. Infinity flawed, all with their own strengths, weaknesses and issues. Making the same mistakes as everyone else.

JustaMamma Easter Sunday 2018

I have a past less than perfect and I sin every single day.

My upbringing was pretty much a mess. Child of divorce at 8 years old I was moved from a typical “Christian home” – we prayed before we ate, practiced Bible study on occasion and attended church on Sunday – to my very conservative grandparents. Here things were different… The Bible was studied daily, church wasn’t just attended, you needed to be an active member of the congregation in some way, whether it was attending the youth program, helping with church events or singing in the choir.

Of course, I rebelled.

High school was a time of exploration, self-destruction and dating guys way too old. I was acting out, being the ultimate teenage cliche and had totally turned my back on religion. I had all kinds of fancy reasons for my selfish, destructive behaviour. Looking back, I now know how God must have loved me even during this time… The way I was protected and kept safe in some of the most dangerous situations is a testimony to the power of prayer (and not my own but those of loved ones unwilling to give up on me).

I remember fooling myself into thinking “I’ve got this”, I was in control of my life and my destiny. Feeling strong, powerful and confident – I was a good person. In truth I only cared about myself.

Life was fun but it was also lonely and really sad at times.

Partying, drinking and doing terrible things… Acting way too old for my age but thinking I was so cool. Today I know it was actually sad. Reading this you may think; “How bad could things have been?” – you met your husband at 17… How “out of hand” could things have gotten?

Honestly, very bad. A destructive teenager can do a lot of harm in a small amount of time. Being expelled didn’t even change my ways… I actually thought it was pretty “bad-ass”.

I met my husband while working in retail (I sold him some pants).

We ended up attending RAG – yes, I was under aged, but early physical development, plunging necklines and makeup had me covered (since the age of 15).

My husband was amazing. A cute nerd, I started dating because he had a car. And there was just something about him… He attended church and was a typical Christian. I made sure he knew I was an atheist – strangely enough he never questioned me about it and I was never pressured to attend church with him.

JustaMamma Easter Sunday 2018

Our 1st 4 years together was a whirlwind of parties, drinking, arguing, making out and making up. We had a passion almost impossible to control and one that got us into trouble countlessly. We got married but seeing as we’d been living together for years before, life did change much. It was only after Alec lost his father that we realized how precious life really is and how foolish we’d been living it.

We started talking about starting a family and soon afterwards Eliana was born.

She was our game changer!

JustaMamma Easter Sunday 2018

Being parents is the ultimate humbling experience. Loving someone that intensely, instantly, changes you forever. I wanted life for her to be better. We wanted her to know love and never feel alone.

JustaMamma Easter Sunday 2018

Life can’t be explained and no matter how hard we try, we can’t replicate human life.

JustaMamma Easter Sunday 2018

Having a child is the ultimate testimony of God existence. In an instance I “got it” because I felt it and it was undeniable. Every fancy piece of me has been stripped away by motherhood and I’ve been changed and reshaped into someone new. I “get” God and I love Him.

JustaMamma Easter Sunday 2018

Sending His only son to die for all our sins (even the non believers) must have been an indescribable hurt. It’s one that I am however eternally grateful for. For years I had been carrying the weight of a tainted past with me but His forgiveness freed me from everything. Hate, sadness, fear and judgement. In Jesus I was given a second chance, a new beginning and the promise of an eternal life.

Since becoming a believer life hasn’t gotten easier, in fact times have been harder but I’m not looking for an easy, happy life. In fact, I’ve stopped searching for happiness. It now resides within me.

JustaMamma Easter Sunday 2018

I once heard a phase “I don’t believe because I want to, I believe because I can’t afford not to.” – I couldn’t agree more.

JustaMamma Easter 2018

Happy Easter to you and your loved ones from me and mine.

PHOTO CREDIT | Anje-Ilana Nel Madison and West.

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22 Comments

  • Reply Bianca March 31, 2018 at 5:36 pm

    Wow! Love this!!

    • Reply Mari-Louise March 31, 2018 at 9:22 pm

      Thank you Bianca, for this comment and also for taking the time to read this. x

  • Reply Lauren March 31, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    What an amazing testimony! Thanks for sharing your heart x

    • Reply Mari-Louise March 31, 2018 at 9:23 pm

      Thank you Lauren. I was so scared to share this and truly appreciate you encouraging comment.x

  • Reply Taryn Ulster March 31, 2018 at 6:37 pm

    So true! And so beautiful! I may as well have written it myself it sounds so similar, while our stories differ some, essentially the story is the same… “I don’t believe because I want to, I believe because I can’t afford not to” how incredibly true! Love it!

    • Reply Mari-Louise March 31, 2018 at 9:25 pm

      And maybe one day you could share yours with me over a cup of tea. I have so much love and admiration for you Taryn. Thank you for the lovely comment. Love to the boys and the bump. x

  • Reply Mixtakespics March 31, 2018 at 6:54 pm

    What an amazing testimony! God is so good and I am so grateful for him sending his son. We need him so desperately. Xx

    • Reply Mari-Louise March 31, 2018 at 9:27 pm

      YES, definitely. Jesus’ love changed me in so many ways – forever grateful too. Happy Easter.x

  • Reply Daleen March 31, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    Een van die mees powerfulste goed wat ek ooit gelees het. Amazing hoe die Here jou gebruik op hierdie platform om soveel mense aan te raak. Nog altyd gedink jy is n inspirasie…. en nou… nog soveel meer! Voorreg om jou vriendin te noem.

    • Reply Mari-Louise March 31, 2018 at 9:30 pm

      Vriendin, DANKIE! Dis min dat mens se “eie mense”, mens met soveel liefde ondersteun. Dankie dat jy ‘n voorbeeld en aanmoediging is in my lewe. Baie liefde vir jou en jou manne. Hou lekker Paasfees en vakansie. x

  • Reply Rhona April 1, 2018 at 5:27 am

    Hoendervleis en trane vriendin!!! Jou skryfwerk is amazing! Jou hart NOG mooier. Ek hoop jy besef hoe ongelooflik vêr jy gekom het en hoeveel mense jy daagliks aanraak!!!!

    • Reply Mari-Louise April 3, 2018 at 8:29 am

      Dankie mooiste Rhonz. Dis lekker om mense te hê wat saam met my die pad gestap het. Baie groete en liefde.

  • Reply Cat April 1, 2018 at 6:08 am

    What a beautiful post! Happy Easter to you and your gorgoeus family Mari-Louise XXX

  • Reply Janice April 1, 2018 at 6:37 am

    Awesome! Well done for a public testimony! ❤👑

    • Reply Mari-Louise April 3, 2018 at 8:28 am

      Dankie mooiste Janice, jy en julle gesin leef elke dag so!x

  • Reply Cass Ferguson April 1, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    Such a special and beautiful post my friend <3

    Loved your story , your honesty , and love how you guys do faith and life in such a real and wonderful way 💞

    • Reply Mari-Louise April 3, 2018 at 8:27 am

      Coming from you, this means so much! Thank you friend. x

  • Reply Caley April 2, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    Wow, what a beautiful testimony and for sharing your story and fate with us.
    I grew up with very little faith or a Christian influence but meeting my husband was the best way to meeting Jesus and allowing Him into my heart and life – and becoming a mama definitely “sealed that deal” x

  • Reply Suzie April 4, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    This was so amazing to read! You are such a shining light to those around you! Thank you for this! 🙏🏼

    • Reply Mari-Louise April 4, 2018 at 11:40 pm

      Thank you. We all have such a bright light. Sometimes life just seems to dampen it a little. x

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